Technical Counseling

Emotions are powerful, but they aren’t always accurate indicators of what’s happening right now. They can reflect the present moment — or old experiences that still shape how we see and respond to the world. Learning to judge an emotional response doesn’t mean deciding whether it’s “good” or “bad.” It means understanding whether it fits the situation and whether it serves your wellbeing.

 

When an emotion feels overwhelming, it often makes sense to ask three questions:

 

1. Is this emotion proportional?
   How big is the feeling compared to what’s actually happening? Strong feelings aren’t wrong, but if the intensity doesn’t match the event, the emotion may be carrying history with it.

2. Is this emotion appropriate to my role right now?
   We each live many roles — parent, partner, employee, friend, advocate, healer. Sometimes an emotion belongs to one role but shows up in another, like frustration from work spilling into a friendship. Naming the role helps bring balance.

3. Is this emotion familiar?
   Recurring emotional patterns — especially those that feel too strong or oddly out of place — can be clues to unresolved pain. They show us where healing work may be needed, not where we’ve failed.

 

 

These questions aren’t tools for self-criticism. They’re invitations to curiosity. With practice, they help you notice your emotions without being swept away by them — so that your feelings can inform your choices rather than control them.

 

Over time, this process builds steadiness and trust in your own responses. You learn to recognize which emotions reflect your current reality and which are echoes from the past — and to meet both with compassion.